Sleepless in Singapore

 

19 March is World Sleep Day. The theme this year is "Healthy Sleep, Healthy Ageing". Do you sleep well every night?

Sleepless in Singapore

On a good night, I get at least 7 hours of sleep. I am in bed by 9, and I read for an hour or so, depending on the how tired I am.  Prior to that, I would have done my meditation, taken a last look at messages and social media and silenced my phone. But in my old age, I find myself waking up in the middle of the night for no rhyme or reason.

Many of my senior friends complain about having to wake up for the toilet. That happens to me occasionally, but I usually get back to bed without any problem. But for a while now, I have found myself suddenly wide awake at 2 something in the morning. This can be disconcerting when you know you have to be up and alert later in the morning for work reasons. These days, of course, work is not tied to time so I can afford to sleep in, if I want to. I don't though. Getting up late ruins my routine, and I much prefer to be up by the regular time and then sneak a nap later in the day. 

But what does one do at 2 something in the morning?  I try to remember not to do anything in bed beyond rest, so I leave my bed and room and wander outside. There, bad habit dictates that I turn on my phone and check my messages and mail.  Often, I'll catch up with reading the many newsletters I subscribe to and sometimes I answer email messages. I listen to Spotify while doing this. Sometimes I read a book but not often. But I remember once being so engrossed in Steve Jobs' biography in the small hours of the night. Sometimes, I write and there have been nights when I just watch TV or reruns of Big Bang Theory on Facebook until I get tired enough to go back to bed.

Such was my need to get my sleep fix that I never used to consider the pleasures of getting up when everyone is still in dreamland. Now, I find myself less concerned about these sleepless episodes. In fact, I realised that after several nights of meeting my sleep quota, I will invariably have a sleepless episode. Well, it's just a sign that I have had enough of sleep, I tell myself.

So, when I am suddenly awakened from my slumber, I will get up and leave my bedroom to wander into my garden. There, I will examine my plants by moonlight or the patio lights. Tonight, the moon is full although a bit obscured by dark clouds. At the right season, the Rangoon Creeper will be in full bloom and the heady fragrance will fill the patio. Sometimes, I am thrilled to catch the night blooming epiphyllum (keng hua), and because I have so many pots of this plant, it's invariably a mass of creamy white blooms, pale and glowing under the night light. This morning, my four o'clock flowers, in pure white and deep crimson, are in full bloom too. Some nights, I'll look over the patio into the distant and watch vehicles travelling to unknown destinations; where are people going to at this odd hour of the morning?

In the end, I will invariably drift back to my desk, turn on some music on my phone or the computer. There is something magical about listening to music in the quiet of the night. Often, I listen to some new age stuff or to classical music. I particularly like the mournful notes of the cello (YoYoMa!) and much as I enjoy rock, pop music and oldies, they seem a tad loud for this time of the morning. Then I do some writing - my daily journal, my homework for a course I'm doing, or just whatever I am working on then. My cat, Marbles, sometimes hangs around with the hope of an early breakfast, but he rarely gets it! Often he's sound asleep somewhere so no distraction from men and beast.

Do I get a lot of stuff done? Yes and no. Some nights I get too absorbed in reading that I don't get into writing. Other times, I waste time watching Big Bang Theory! But I remind myself that being up, alone, in the middle of night is a luxury and the time is to be savoured and enjoyed. No need to think about the hours and maximising the minutes for productivity.

So, if you often lament that you're awakened in the wee hours of the night, just reframe your thinking. Instead of saying, I can't sleep, try saying, I get to spend this time by myself doing what I like. Fix yourself a warm drink and enjoy your own company doing whatever you like!

But do share what you do when you wake up in the middle of the night. Do you suffer from insomnia? Or nocturia (peeing at night)? What keeps you up at night?

"Ageing is not the process of making you old and ugly, ageing is the process of making you bold and beautiful."
Dr. P.S. Jagadeesh Kumar

And so on to the next stage of life...

I have long wanted to start a blog on women ageing in the Asian context. Yes, there are blogs aplenty on ageing in other parts of the world, and here, on ageing in general, but I wanted a platform to talk about ageing among women in Singapore and in Asia.  I wanted to hear voices from senior women here and in Asia about their issues, their problems, their joys, and their blessings. I want to know how they deal with old age, with retirement, with new roles like being a mother-in-law or a widow or a divorcee, with living alone, with sagging skin, with being ignored or affirmed by the young, with hair that's growing white, with clothes not made for mature bodies, with feet that ache, with skin and every other body part that's dry and tender and fragile, and with the joys and frustrations of making it from day to day. In short, everything from the trivial to the profound. 

But work has given me an excuse not to begin and while I've had this blog for the longest time, it is only now that I have found the motivation and the will to finally activate this project. The truth is, I was fearful. Fearful of the reception I'd get, fearful of the opinions of other women and generally, just fearful of failing. But after I've gone through all the fears I could list, I came to the conclusion that they are just fears. And fears are meant to be conquered. 

"...ageing is the process of making you bold." If not now, then when? If I don't do this now, will I regret it later when I am unable to summon the energy to do it? I don't take life for granted; I always remind myself that I live in the long shadow of cancer and that every day is a gift. 

So, with some trepidation and a lot of guts and optimism, I begin this blog and an accompanying Instagram account to initiate discussion about women growing old in Singapore and in Asia. My insights alone will not be enough so every now and then, I hope that other senior women will contribute their views and ideas on different aspects of ageing. I invite you too to share your views and opinions and to add to the conversation here. And if there's a topic you want to be discussed, please let me know.

Please join me on Instagram at awesome.elder.women. If you're wondering about the "elder", I do want to emphasise that we are elder because we are simply older than others but have many more years of life in us as opposed to "elderly" which is simply someone in the last years of their life.

Come and be a part of this journey with me. Together we can age and be more bold and beautiful!